So most days, I don’t want to get out of bed.
I can feel deep down the true me is slowly suffocating and fighting to be free.
Yeah feel free to say I’m being melodramatic but this is what it feels like.
Throughout life being lose and find themselves. Stablisation seems like a myth to me.. something I have always dreamt of but never achieved. It’s like the Willy Wonka ‘two steps forward and one step back’.
It’s funny how life can evoke your dreams yet demolish them and demean them with little effort. Life requires limitless effort and you still may not achieve.
I mean I believe in karma and hope it will all pay off. I know that my life is a lot better than many others but my moments of happiness compared to my moments of sadness is not at a level to which I am willing to accept.
Many moments in life I have had epiphanies which enlighten me and lead me to my next new pursuit. I’ve pursued graphic design, teaching, photography, marketing, software, Indonesian, public relations, creative writing and history.
My whole life society has taught me to look for my flaws and fix them.
Fat= lose some weight
Unhealthy= eat better… exercise more.. go to your gp
Sad= do things you love, be happier
Shy= socialise more
Too emotional= practice logical skills
Too creative= practice rationality and academia
Throughout life your levels of pursuit and success in certain areas shift and waver. At times I’ve been healthier, happier, more social, more or less creative etc…
Where you seek praise you often find more criticism than you wanted.
That’s when you realise that no one else’s opinion should matter.
Don’t allow the world to influence you negatively.
brookechookie 